My December...

December is here again, and with it comes, Unfortunately and without fail comes my depression. an interior reflection of my feelings to accompany the searing pain caused by the cold air that slashes, rips and tears at my face.
Before I considered myself to be a happy person, but this time of the year always gets me down. Little be little my good mood sours and the erge to cry is only surpassed by my desire to save face, after all the man of the house should never show his weak side.
But its so hard... I feel myself turning into a colder person little by little every year, every Christmas.... Caring only for my personal gain and the safety of the people I care for, and who are close to me, the rest of the world... can fuck themselves, I just dont feel the things i used to. Pitty... Compassion...
I just dont feel these things anymore.....
Its like everything was replaced by bitterness , all thanks to this time of year, and the things that happend in previous ones... The fighting , the shouting, ringing through my head as if it were yesterday. The threats still make me shiver... The loneliness, the longing for people who aren´t with us any more... They are truly missed...



So to everyone, have a merry fucking Christmas, and shitty new year! i know i´m going to spend mine , probably locked in my room, in the dark.